


Mr. Huffle

by DaringToWonder



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, Grief, Loss, Love, oh gosh I miss her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24429139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaringToWonder/pseuds/DaringToWonder
Summary: The Doctor finds an old friend and the fam ask questions. Set between seasons 11 and 12.
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	Mr. Huffle

"Hey Doc, where'd you put the crackers?"  
"They should be in one of those top cupboards."  
"I can't find any."  
"Here-" the Doctor got up to help Graham find a snack. "They should be right here." She fished around in one and got out a box of crackers, but in her messiness she had accidentally knocked something over.  
Graham picked up the squeaky doll. "Doc, what is this?"  
The Doctor looked back at him, then his hand, and smiled brightly. "That's Mr. Huffle!"  
"What?"  
"Mr. Huffle. He was given to me a long time ago, by a friend."  
Graham could see something flicker in her eyes. He didn't want to pry, but at the same time, he had to wonder,  
"Are you okay, Doc?"  
"Yeah! I'm always okay, I'm the king of okay. Er - queen."  
"Alright, then - just tell me if you need someone, okay?"  
The Doctor nodded. "Thanks."  
Just then, Yaz and Ryan walked in. The Doctor immediately turned cheery. "Oh hi, Yaz, Ryan. What's up, gang?"  
Graham noticed the change but said nothing.  
"Just hungry," Ryan explained. "Graham - what's that you're holding?"  
"This? This, Ryan, is Mr. Huffle."  
Yaz silently asked for it and Graham handed the toy over. "Who's Mr. Huffle?"  
The Doctor shrugged. "It's not important. Want to eat lunch, then? In here or out?"  
Yaz answered. "In here."  
They ate lunch and Mr. Huffle was placed on the table. At first, Yaz had been willing to believe that Mr. Huffle was unimportant, but the Doctor kept staring at it.  
"What's wrong, Doctor?"  
"Huh? Oh, nothing. Not that hungry. I don't need as much-"  
Yaz squeezed Mr. Huffle, hard. "Doctor. What's wrong?"  
"I don't want to talk about it. Please."  
"Doctor, we can't help if you-"  
"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!"  
She stormed off, leaving her friends in a stunned silence.

The Doctor ran, wiping away the beginning of tears. The TARDIS buzzed at her, scolding her for treating her companions that way.  
"Yeah, yeah, leave me alone. You miss her too."  
The TARDIS went silent.  
"That's what I thought."  
She ran to the library and was drawn one corner of one bookshelf, or rather, to the diary that lay there.  
She pulled it out and hugged it close to her chest. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

Several hours later, the Doctor found the fam in the TV room. She took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. Really, I am." She hung her head. "I hurt you because I was thinking about myself. It was my fault, and I understand if you don't want to be around me right now."  
They turned to her. Yaz was shaking slightly.  
Graham spoke. "Doctor, we forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes."  
"I shouldn't have pushed you so hard," Yaz added.  
Ryan smiled encouragingly at her and made space on the couch. "Want to sit down?"  
"Yeah... sure."  
Yaz noticed that she was clutching a small book shaped like the TARDIS. She wanted to ask, but she didn't dare right now. Luckily for her, the Doctor noticed her staring.  
"It's a diary," she said in explanation.  
"Who?" Graham asked in a whisper.  
The Doctor just shook her head. "An old friend." She hesitated. "So I guess we're spending the rest of the day in here? Or do you want to go see your families, or...?"  
Ryan shrugged. "Whatever works for you."  
"But what do you want to do?"  
Graham placed a hand on her shoulder. The Doctor flinched away but slowly moved back.  
"Doctor, what do YOU want?"  
The Doctor gave a half-hearted attempt at a laugh. "You don't know me."  
"That's why we're asking," Yaz pointed out softly.  
The Doctor stared at them. "I shouldn't be like this. It's not good. You need fun, you don't worry about me."  
"A bit too late, Doc."  
The Doctor stayed silent for several moments. Then, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye and looked up.  
"No..." Because there was River. "No, how-?"  
"Hello, sweetie. Is that the way to greet your wife? Anyway, data ghost, remember? You were thinking of me very strongly, so I showed up. You really ought to talk to your friends."  
"How what?" Ryan asked confused. The Doctor realized they couldn't see her wife. She ignored him and addressed River.  
"You shouldn't be here. You're an echo - we parted years ago..." She stood up and walked towards River, who noticed the diary.  
"Sentimental idiot."  
"Oh shut up,"  
"Thought that was my line?"  
"Yeah well,"  
"Doctor?" asked Yaz. "What are you talking to?"  
The Doctor spun around. "Hang on a minute." She turned back to River. "River, do you know how much this hurts? I said goodbye 3 times, I don't think I can a fourth."  
River smiled sadly. "Isn't that how it is?"  
"River..." The Doctor traced one of her wife's curls. "Please, don't make me do this." Every second, it was getting harder to ignore her overwhelming desire to kiss her, but she knew it would only make the goodbye sadder.  
"Doctor. Just because a story ends doesn't make it sad. You need to open up."  
"I don't think I can."  
"Of course you can."  
"I can't do everything."  
"But you can help yourself."  
"What if I don't want to?"  
"Then I guess I need to kiss it all better."  
And against her better judgement, the Doctor beat her to it.  
Suddenly, everything came flooding back. All the ways River and her fit together, all the sensations she never thought she'd feel again, the hair she would have never gotten the chance to run her fingers through.  
Eventually, the Doctor broke the kiss. "You're taller than me now. I knew these legs used to be longer."  
She heard a not-so-subtle "ahem" from behind them. From the fam's perspective, she had been kissing thin air.  
"Doctor, I think you owe your friends a small explanation," River encouraged.  
The Doctor nodded. "Stay with me?"  
"Always."


End file.
